MY THOUHTS ON MOTHER'S DAY

Because Carole and I didn't get married until we were 32, I never dreamed we would have 40 years of marriage [in 2010], especially when you look at the longevity in both our parent's “life lines.”

As I grow older, my love for my Wife and Family grow stronger & stronger ... I have always loved my wife and family very much but, I was like many men that thought my total obligation was to provide a livelihood for my wife and family. I thought that was my only role. I thought my wife would do the rest ... After all I was working hard ... Traveling all the time ... What did she expect from me? Boy, was I wrong!

I remember one week when in an unfinished house [Mt Vista, Pennsylvania], Pregnant with Daughter, Anne, she had Business Dinner parties at home for 5 couples on two successive nights ... She stained wood, finished trim and doors ... Had Family sit down full course meals including desert every night ... Did the cleanup ... Slept for only 4 hours every night ... Writing the Waddodles pre-teen books [Five [5] are in print] … I could go on and on ... Literally, she did everything for the family and me ... I provided the money ... What did she expect from me? Boy was I wrong!

It was a long, slow "learning curve" for me but, I finally "get it."

One night, on one of our frequent "couch dates" ... Having a picnic, rubbing Carole’s feet and watching a DVD ... We watched "Fireproof," [Made by the people who made Facing the Giants] a Christen movie about a troubled marriage] ... We both ended up crying I guess because we could "relate."

I "hope and pray" that every husband and wife have a "Date Night" together and watch your "Wedding Tape" ... Then watch "Fireproof" [Fireproof was the biggest-grossing indie movie of 2008.]

"Fireproof" is the story of a firefighter who after seven years of marriage to his wife , is seeing their relationship fail. His father challenges his son to commit to a 40-day test called, "The Love Dare." ...

The 40 day "Love Dare," is making a daily commitment to our love and marriage ...


The Firefighter starts it, and, after several weeks on it, becomes frustrated with having his efforts rejected. He needs to save his marriage. Thru faith he continues on ... unsure if it's too late to "fireproof" his marriage.

If you can relate ... Take the "40 day Love Test." In this day and age it is easy to just give up ... But there is so much at stake it is worth the extra time and effort to make it work. Carole and I grew up in an age when divorce was not an option. we certainly had our ups and downs but we "persevered." ... Our Love and Marriage endured.

On this Mother's Day, I can reflect on my wife and family ... I told Carole yesterday that she was and is the "perfect" Wife and Mother ... I couldn't ask for anything more ... It took me 32 years to find her but I found the "needle in the haystack."

Yes, I got her a card, flowers and a box of candy but my "Love" is the best gift I can give.

Carole ... I Love You ... Forever, Forever [Engraved in her Wedding Band]

Her is one “40 Day Love Test” … Get a Journal, write in it everyday. LETS GET STARTED. Here are the challenges in a nutshell:
1. Demonstrate patience and say nothing negative to your spouse.
2. Do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
3. Buy your spouse something that says, "I was thinking of you today."
4. Contact your spouse with no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.
5. Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated simply to gain their perspective.
6. Make a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.
7. Get two sheets of paper. On the first, write out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second. Place both sheets in a secret place. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.
8. Take yesterday's list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.
9. Think of a specific way to greet your spouse that reflects your love for them.
10. Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse.
11. Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you" and do it with a smile.
12. Willingly choose to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse and tell them you are putting their preference first.
13. Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement and resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.
14. Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse.
15. Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine.
16. Hope for three specific areas where you desire to help in your spouse's life and in your marriage.
17. Determine to guard your mate's secrets and hope for them.
18. Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you and focus this time on getting to know your spouse better in areas you've rarely talked about.
19. Look back over the dares from previous days and assess your need to change your heart to love. Ask yourself to show you where you stand and hope for the strength and grace to settle your eternal destination.
20. Dare to trust yourself, believe in yourself and know that you have the power to change.
21. Be intentional about making a time to conflict over your actions and understand them.
22. Say to your spouse in words similar to these, "I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don't love me in return."
23. Remove any addiction or influence that's stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.
24. Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it.
25. Whatever you haven't forgiven in your mate, forgive it today. Say from your heart, "I choose to forgive."
26. Take time to reflect on your areas of wrongdoing.
27. Think of one area where your spouse has told you you're expecting too much, and tell them you're sorry for being so hard on them about it.
28. Recognize one of the greatest needs in your spouse's life. Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.
29. Hope for your spouse and for their needs. When you see them, say "I love you," then express love to them in some tangible way. Thank yourself and the world for the privilege of loving this one special person.
30. Isolate one area of division in your marriage, and think about it and wish it gets better.
31. Confess a "leaving" issue to your spouse, and resolve to make it right.
32. Try to initiate sex with your husband or wife in a way that honors what they have told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually.
33. Let your spouse know you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel.
34. Find a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated good character and commend them for this.
35. Find a marriage mentor.
36. Commit to making yourself happy every day.
37. Ask your spouse if you can discuss your hopes regularly together.
38. Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable and then wish for it.
39. Spend time in personal thought, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse.
40. Write out a renewal of your vows and place them in your home.